Late Night Ramblings of an Asexual.

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This is me sort of coming out. A few other people- including some other Asexuals- know. I am a sexual orientation known as Asexual.

 

Ok, so some people reading this will probably be thinking, “WTF is that?” Or something along the lines of, “Isn’t that a scientific thing where the they reproduce by themselves?”

This for me, is why it’s harder to explain and tell people.

Homosexuals and Bisexuals you know who they are, they are more known and wrongly discriminated against. Asexuals, it’s believed only 1% of the worlds population are so and then there is an argument on whether there is just a problem with the person/their sex drive.

Asexuality is basically, I see it as being opposite of Bisexual, I don’t experience sexual attraction.

Now that doesn’t mean asexuals can’t have a relationship like the other orientations do. Asexuals are not destined to live alone. Ok, some people find it strange I actually like my alone time- I’m a self-confessed Spinster and Hermit I live alone I’m happy being alone, but that’s because it’s awkward explaining to others in a romantic relationship if you want to take this to the next level, there will be a chance I will run screaming. That’s my reaction though, chances are the more calm way of doing it is saying I’m not interested you can either cope with that, I might be willing later on in the relationship or you can leave. Reality, Leave me by myself with a computer and cake, you’ll find me happier than what any man or woman could make me.

Gir Cupcake

 

There is a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction.

Romantic attraction is more to do with love and attachment, sort of who we are attracted too to date, some Asexuals find themselves more romantically attracted to a specific gender, like sexual orientation, although this case it’s not who we are attracted too to have sex with. There are a few but the more common ones are Aromantic, not being romantically attracted to any gender (I think the definition of this sounds a bit mean, it makes them sound like they might hate everyone, but the aromantics I’ve met are awesome people) Bi-romantic being romantically attracted to both genders. Homo-romantic being attracted to same gender or Hetro-romantic, being romantically attracted to opposite gender. I more relate to the bi-romantic that doesn’t mean I’m bisexual though, it’s more I see males and females the same amount of attractive, it doesn’t mean I will sleep with them

Asexuals can still experience romantic attraction and see people attractive, it gets awkward/slightly funny for me because there are times where I will say something meaning it as a friendly compliment but to another person they will think I’m flirting. There are times where I’ve had to say I’m not a lesbian because of some misunderstanding. I can say, “Oh he looks nice,” but truthfully that will be it, I don’t have any plans to have fantasies or whatever.  Asexuals can still have a normal relationship though, it’s not like we live like nuns, Ok, there are some who will say they won’t have sex or that the act disgusts them. The physical side of the relationship for most people is seen as important so if the relationship is worth is some compromise might be made

For Asexuals, a relationship is just based less on the physical side. It’s not celibacy, we aren’t choosing to abstain from sex, I think for most of us it’s just we don’t see people that way. You can’t really get a heterosexual person to have sex with someone of the same sex. Take BBC’s Sherlock series 2 episode one- A Scandal in Belgravia, Sherlock was faced with an attractive naked woman, he didn’t even seem bothered. It’s a similar case with other Asexuals; if I were faced with a naked person I’d cringe, not be bothered or fall into a fit of giggles finding the whole situation funny. There’d be no sexual, “I want to procreate with you!” Attraction there.

Asexy3It doesn’t mean we really turn our noses up at sex either, todays society you can’t get away from it, if being asexual meant we’d be disgusted at every sexual image or advertisement we’d probably never get out and keep ourselves in rooms. I openly admit (and my sister Natalie will back me up) I tend to read a lot of erotica (Or as we call it here at Well Did You Evah, Kinky Fuckery) and through that I may be Asexual but I have a lot of useless knowledge on BDSM. It’s an interest it doesn’t mean I want to do those things. If you read up on serial killers you aren’t going to go on a murder spree, the only thing you get is more knowledge… and a few laughs.

This may seem like I’ve gone on, coming out, as Asexual might not to some people be as big as coming out as gay, I mean if I want to be honest on most forms on the sexual orientation part, I usually end up putting, “Prefer not to say,” Or have a long debate on if I should put I’m bi or straight, which honestly is fun… not. So, some parts of society don’t even see us as a real thing, people are slowly starting to recognize Sherlock (BBC) and Sheldon (The Big Bang Theory) as being Asexual. There are fingers crossed there might be some more awareness about this.

But this is who I am, this isn’t a phase, I’ve sort of known since I was 16. I wear a black ring around my right middle finger (a sort of symbol in the asexual community) to remind and show it and importantly I’m comfortable with who I am.

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Asexy and you know it

Website commonly known as AVEN-

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

The Christmas List… With a Twist

Ok, This is a Christmas list of things you probably want… but you can’t have, either because it doesn’t exist yet or it is really expensive or it is extremely unlikely- near impossible to get. Anyone has anything else you think should be on this list, this is just a list off the top of my head, comment below!

1. 250px-Transporter2A Transporter/Teleport- I grew up with every series of Star Trek (Andsecretly loved it… or possibly not as secret as I thought) But those long walks to University, School or Work (I rarely worked outside of the house so thinking this on the way to work hardly happened). But I just want to be able to say, “Beam me up Scotty.” Or “Cat to-Where ever I want to go-” And be there. Yes I know weight problems are an issue today but think about the pollution cut down! Also you can just teleport to a gym!

2. Any FULLY WORKING Gadget from Doctor Who- Doctor Who, Another thing I grew up with and I am obsessed with. I have sonic-screwdriverthe 11th/Matt Smith Sonic Screw Driver, although it is a bit difficult to put new batteries in, IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT! If only it
unlocked things… Unless I’m missing something and every lock on Earth is Deadlock sealed. Also I really want a TARDIS… or    just to see one of the real ones to hug it 🙂 I will also hug a Dalek too. I could really do with some real psychic paper too…

3. A Time Machine- This is for if the TARDIS is really not possible. For those who don’t know the difference *Puts Geek hat on* The TARDIS can travel in time and space. A time machine if you take the movie “Time Machine,” Seriously, the time machine won’t actually move… It mentions it on an episode of The Big Bang Theory, so if your not up for watching and trying to understand the movie, I recommend (UK fans only, sorry others) HMV are currently selling The Big Bang Theory box set seasons 1-5 for £30

4. An evening/dinner with a celebrity of your choice, dead or alive. Dead it is extremely unlikely, unless you are or know a good necromancer… If you do… I’m sort of interested actually if anyone does… Give us a message if you are or know a proper one. Back to the topic- Natalie wants dinner with Clark Gable- the handsome actor who plays the character Rhett Butler, in Gone With The Wind, if you have 4 hours to spare… We all know there is normally plenty of time on Boxing Day when you are suffering with the stomach ache of someone cooking too much on Christmas day, I suggest watching Gone With The Wind. Like Natalie you might get some satisfaction of Clark Gable saying, “Frankly My Dear I Don’t Give A Damn.” My Choices for going out to dinner with a celebrity would be… Judy Garland, If you have watched one of her movies, which also star Gene Kelly *Fan scream*, The Pirate you will understand this. I’m one  of her Chicken-Hawks! Seen as though it is Christmas another movie to put on your list- Meet Me In St. Louis (I will be writing a review on that nearer Christmas). Also living Stars I would go to dinner with- Ben Barnes ^.^ . Robert Pattinson, right before some of you groan. I sort of feel sorry for him, I know celebrities sign up for all that what comes with fame, but from what I’ve seen of Twilight fans they seem… really serious. I’m touching the subjects of any celebrities personal business/gossip, in the end that’s their business, I still believe they are normal people, just with a good talent. My main reason for wanting to meet Robert Pattinson is because- Hufflepuff business- I want to give him a potato.

5. A trip to space- Ok this is only possible if you are either 1. Seriously rich or 2. Best Buds with Richard Branson.

6. A Trip to Narnia- If someone asks me what I’m doing and I’m not doing anything really interesting I normally reply, “I’m looking for Narnia.” Who wouldn’t want to go there? Yes Narnia was the series of films that introduced me to Ben Barnes.

7. Kim Possible box set- I’ve only just found out Disney have never done this! Seriously? People would rather let their kids rewatch Hannah Montana? Proper role model people! Teach girls how to kick butt! Then us girls can earn more respect!

8. Part in a film of your choice- Natalie’s suggestion this one, she want’s a small part in the Original Nosferatu, I think I’d join her. Unless there was an option to be in the Vampire Kisses (by Ellen Schreiber) movie if it ever get’s made. If you ever read the Vampire Kisses series, you’ll have to fight me to get Alexander. Also I wouldn’t mind a part in any of the X-Men films or a part in Singin’ in the Rain.

9. That Microwave on Fifth Element- If you haven’t watched that movie yet…

10. To get through Christmas without spending a penny- This is impossible unless you live on a deserted island or you’re parent/guardians/career still deem you to be an age where you shouldn’t start buying your own presents/cards for people.

If you are after some presents you can get in the real world, Natalie has done a review on somethings you can get.20060811022455!Satsuma

Or there is always the option of a lump of coal or a satsuma

To be honest, I actually could do with a brick for Christmas this year to attach to some of my art supplies… It’s hard to loose a brick and I would paint it a pretty colour.

Merry Christmas!