Late Night Ramblings of an Asexual.

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This is me sort of coming out. A few other people- including some other Asexuals- know. I am a sexual orientation known as Asexual.

 

Ok, so some people reading this will probably be thinking, “WTF is that?” Or something along the lines of, “Isn’t that a scientific thing where the they reproduce by themselves?”

This for me, is why it’s harder to explain and tell people.

Homosexuals and Bisexuals you know who they are, they are more known and wrongly discriminated against. Asexuals, it’s believed only 1% of the worlds population are so and then there is an argument on whether there is just a problem with the person/their sex drive.

Asexuality is basically, I see it as being opposite of Bisexual, I don’t experience sexual attraction.

Now that doesn’t mean asexuals can’t have a relationship like the other orientations do. Asexuals are not destined to live alone. Ok, some people find it strange I actually like my alone time- I’m a self-confessed Spinster and Hermit I live alone I’m happy being alone, but that’s because it’s awkward explaining to others in a romantic relationship if you want to take this to the next level, there will be a chance I will run screaming. That’s my reaction though, chances are the more calm way of doing it is saying I’m not interested you can either cope with that, I might be willing later on in the relationship or you can leave. Reality, Leave me by myself with a computer and cake, you’ll find me happier than what any man or woman could make me.

Gir Cupcake

 

There is a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction.

Romantic attraction is more to do with love and attachment, sort of who we are attracted too to date, some Asexuals find themselves more romantically attracted to a specific gender, like sexual orientation, although this case it’s not who we are attracted too to have sex with. There are a few but the more common ones are Aromantic, not being romantically attracted to any gender (I think the definition of this sounds a bit mean, it makes them sound like they might hate everyone, but the aromantics I’ve met are awesome people) Bi-romantic being romantically attracted to both genders. Homo-romantic being attracted to same gender or Hetro-romantic, being romantically attracted to opposite gender. I more relate to the bi-romantic that doesn’t mean I’m bisexual though, it’s more I see males and females the same amount of attractive, it doesn’t mean I will sleep with them

Asexuals can still experience romantic attraction and see people attractive, it gets awkward/slightly funny for me because there are times where I will say something meaning it as a friendly compliment but to another person they will think I’m flirting. There are times where I’ve had to say I’m not a lesbian because of some misunderstanding. I can say, “Oh he looks nice,” but truthfully that will be it, I don’t have any plans to have fantasies or whatever.  Asexuals can still have a normal relationship though, it’s not like we live like nuns, Ok, there are some who will say they won’t have sex or that the act disgusts them. The physical side of the relationship for most people is seen as important so if the relationship is worth is some compromise might be made

For Asexuals, a relationship is just based less on the physical side. It’s not celibacy, we aren’t choosing to abstain from sex, I think for most of us it’s just we don’t see people that way. You can’t really get a heterosexual person to have sex with someone of the same sex. Take BBC’s Sherlock series 2 episode one- A Scandal in Belgravia, Sherlock was faced with an attractive naked woman, he didn’t even seem bothered. It’s a similar case with other Asexuals; if I were faced with a naked person I’d cringe, not be bothered or fall into a fit of giggles finding the whole situation funny. There’d be no sexual, “I want to procreate with you!” Attraction there.

Asexy3It doesn’t mean we really turn our noses up at sex either, todays society you can’t get away from it, if being asexual meant we’d be disgusted at every sexual image or advertisement we’d probably never get out and keep ourselves in rooms. I openly admit (and my sister Natalie will back me up) I tend to read a lot of erotica (Or as we call it here at Well Did You Evah, Kinky Fuckery) and through that I may be Asexual but I have a lot of useless knowledge on BDSM. It’s an interest it doesn’t mean I want to do those things. If you read up on serial killers you aren’t going to go on a murder spree, the only thing you get is more knowledge… and a few laughs.

This may seem like I’ve gone on, coming out, as Asexual might not to some people be as big as coming out as gay, I mean if I want to be honest on most forms on the sexual orientation part, I usually end up putting, “Prefer not to say,” Or have a long debate on if I should put I’m bi or straight, which honestly is fun… not. So, some parts of society don’t even see us as a real thing, people are slowly starting to recognize Sherlock (BBC) and Sheldon (The Big Bang Theory) as being Asexual. There are fingers crossed there might be some more awareness about this.

But this is who I am, this isn’t a phase, I’ve sort of known since I was 16. I wear a black ring around my right middle finger (a sort of symbol in the asexual community) to remind and show it and importantly I’m comfortable with who I am.

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Asexy and you know it

Website commonly known as AVEN-

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

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Disney and Parental issues

 

DP Frozen-movie-posterI’ve seen Frozen, and I have to scream out loud I loved every minute of it although I’ll admit the songs were that good I wanted the movie to have more singing. But hopefully I’ll get around to doing a blog post on the full movie when the DVD comes out (31st of March for the UK) Then I can pause the movie and don’t miss any funny moments or singing.

This might be a little spoiler but Frozen brings forward again that got me shouting, “Not again!,” In my seat, although I think it was supposed to bring out sad emotions but, think of all the popular Disney movies. Because Parents in Disney movies seem to have a contract to die or at least have issues. (No discrimination to single parents, I’m just pointing out how many times Disney have brought up this story line)

 

Two of my favourite Disney Movies- Mulan and Brave, the main females grew up in a stable family environment (well as stable as they could be) But their parental issue came that the story line was based around them rebelling.

 

I’m thinking Disney are setting up a hidden message that, Kids if you want to get somewhere in life one or both of your parents have to die or you need to do some thing drastic like join the army as a man knowing you might get killed if found or change your mother into a bear.

DP Madness

 

This is me just doing a list- (Believe it or not I woke up at 9am putting together this in my head… which may make me seem more disturbed than normal)

DP Stitch Dumbo

Cinderella- Both parents died

Snow White- Both parents dead

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Little Mermaid- Mother Died

Bambi- Mother got shot.

Pinocchio- No mother, but I think the cricket makes up for that. (So, your ok if one of your parents is an insect)

Peter Pan- Now I’m not even going to go into those issues. But reality he has no parents, he as a bunch of kids.

Sleeping Beauty- Both parents are alive, but they didn’t raise her, she didn’t know who they were.

Beauty and The Beast- No mother and father drama as he does nearly end up in an asylum.

Aladdin- JasDP Aladdinpostermine- No mother, Aladdin- Absent parents.

The Lion King- Do I really need to point out this one?

Pocahontas- (I haven’t seen this one in a long time) Not much mention of her mother.

Lilo and Stitch- Lilo- Both parents died.

Finding Nemo- Mother died

The Princess and the Frog- Father died

Tangled- Real parents still alive, but drama as she was kidnapped at birth and raised by another mother.

Ok, I’m stopping it there…

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I know some of these plot lines follow stories or are essential to the plot.

Only one princess out of Disney’s collection have had a kid- Ariel (Little Mermaid) And Ariel didn’t die in that story line! But then the daughter did rebel… maybe the reason why we don’t see many of the princesses/characters having children is because Disney will end up killing the characters off…

Week Round Up: Birthdays, Winter Olympics & Vampire Academy

So since so much has happened this week we decided to blend it all together and condense it down into bite size chunks. Make’s it easier to digest you see. We’re hoping that this eclectic mix will hold something for everyone.

Birthdays!

Clark_Gable_-_publicity1st February- Clark Gable (1/2/1901- 16/11/1960) American actor best known for playing Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind. Starred in many films with many famous people. Try watching The Misfits which was sadly his last film

4th February- Ida Lupino (4/2/1918- 3/8/1995) British/American actress and pioneer of women film makers. Lupino starred Ida_Lupino_publicityin over 50 films and directed many more TV episodes like Hitchcock Presents and Twilight Zone. A very fascinating woman in a male dominated career.

Zsa_Zsa_Gabor_-_19596th February- Zsa Zsa Gabor (6/2/1917) Hungarian/ American actress and socialite. She has appeared in films and TV series but is probably best known for being married nine times and having a very public personal life.

Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics!

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Sochi 2014 Olympic Mascots

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Where Sochi actually is… There really isn’t that much snow.

As I write this the BBC coverage of the Opening Ceremony has just begun. EXCITING! Sochi 2014 is the 22nd Winter Olympics and Sochi is in Russia, but you probably already knew that. Everyone seems excited to see what the Opening Ceremony will consist of and what Putin has to say. This Winter Olympics is special because it is the first time Ski and Snowboard Slopestyle has been seen at the Olympics (giving Team GB great medal chances) and the first time Women can compete in the Ski Jump. It’s also the first time Team USA have competed on Russian soil… Thanks to Clare Balding for just mentioning that.

In the UK the BBC are basically covering it all and have commentators who know what they’re on about. I will also be out there for a week from the 17th, I’m very excited for that.  We’ll keep you updated on Team GB and any medal prospects. For now go and enjoy the most expensive Olympics ever and try not to let the controversies take anything away from the sport.

Vampire Academy US Opening

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Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry & Dominic Sherwood at Publicity for Vampire Academy

The film to the best selling books opened in the US today. As a resident of the UK I’m torn between hating people who are posting spoilers already and smiling at all the great photos and reviews that are being put on social network sites. Remember we don’t get the film until April. It gives us chance to re-read the books and see if the film gets enough money to maybe have Frostbite optioned.

Goodbye for now, I’m going back the the Sochi Opening Ceremony.