So I’m not exactly questioning everything. I still have the same breakfast cereals when I wake up (if we have any left) and I still know that I can’t eat too much pizza or cake… What a shame. I am however questioning things like am I too comfortable in my job. Do I really want to leave even though I know I need more hours? Would it be more beneficial to stay in bed all day snuggled up watching re-runs of Blue Bloods and Murder, She Wrote? These may seem like trivial questions but for someone like me they feel like they could change the outcome of my life.
This post will probably be filled with questions that I don’t answer but it’ll give you an insight into my hectic life over the past week. Many of you won’t see the point to this post. One question that really upset me because there is no answer yet will the TV Series Reign be renewed? Trivial? Yes but I like the series and I’ll be upset if it’s cancelled. I think when you suffer from depression little things like this can make a difference. I’m not saying I’ll get depressed if they cancel the series but it makes you happy when they announce there’ll be more. It gives you something good to look forward to.
A good example is I had a job interview on Monday. I was a bit unsure on whether to go because I was questioning if I actually wanted the job. I know I need more hours and a job I can see myself in in 10 years time, I want some stability. If I get the job it means moving away and deep down this is what I want; the chance to start a new and make a place my own is very daunting but exciting for me. So why did I question going for the job? Well I’m comfortable at the store I work at. I enjoy my job and have some brilliant friends there. Okay I can make friends in a new job but I have trust issues which makes it hard for me to settle down and make friends. The friends I have are ones I trust a lot and will possibly be life long friends which I’m very grateful for. At the interview I did actually talk a lot to others which was surprising but really nice.
I won’t find out if I’ve got the job until next week or the week after. It’s a bit nerve racking but if I go on like normal it’ll all be fine. If I get the job I’ll be extremely happy if not I’ll probably stay in bed all week and act like no one wants me. It’s how life goes I’m afraid.
Writing this has made me realise that everyone questions actions and decisions within their life some obviously a bit more than others. It’s making the best decision for yourself that is what matters. If I get offered this job away and I take it then I’m making the decision to leave my home life, family, friends and everything i’ve basically ever known to set up on my own. Scary right? But at the moment it will be the best decision for me and I’ll go for it even though I’m scared.
Remember questioning things means you care and are thinking ahead and that’s good!